Water Hazard Hall of Fame

Keith Mines deposited 11 balls into this hazard over a single season. The club named it “Keith’s Pond.” There is a small bronze plaque. Keith paid for it himself. When asked why, he stared into the middle distance and said “it felt right.”

Following his third consecutive water hazard, an unnamed member hurled his entire bag — clubs, trolley, waterproofs, packed lunch and a thermos of Bovril — into the lake. He drove home in his golf shoes. The clubs were recovered two years later. The sandwiches were not. The Bovril had achieved sentience.

A member, distracted by a particularly upsetting lie, drove his electric buggy directly into the ornamental water feature beside the 6th green. The buggy is still there. The club has left it in place as a warning. The fish seem to enjoy it.

Water in front of the green. You’ve played well all day. You absolutely do not need to lay up. You reach for the 3-wood anyway. Your playing partners quietly step back and exchange a look. You already know what happens. Reader: it happened. It always happens. This is golf.